How to Choose a Therapist as a Perfectionist (Without Getting Stuck in Over-Research or Doubt)
You’ve been thinking about starting (or coming back to) therapy for a while now—telling yourself you’ll get to it sometime soon. You've maybe looked up a few therapists, saved a couple of names, got a bit overwhelmed, then... paused. Again.
Maybe it’s the endless number of profiles. Or all the acronyms and therapy terms that just sort of blur together (LMHC? LCSW? ACT? EMDR? 😵💫). You’ve looked them all up, made some sense of them, but still don’t know which one is right for you. So, the search goes on pause... again. And maybe that cycle has been on repeat for a while now.
If that sounds familiar—you're not alone. And honestly? I get it. This part can be really overwhelming. Yep, even for therapists trying to find their own therapists.
And especially if you're a perfectionist, this stage can become a bit of a loop—overthinking, over-researching, doubting yourself, second-guessing your ability to choose “right,” worrying what will happen if you choose “wrong,” and procrastinating because of it all.
As a therapist for perfectionism who works with perfectionists in NY, I see this play out a lot. And the relief my clients feel when they finally start therapy? It’s awesome to see. But most of them have been through a whole process just to get started.
I talked about some of the common barriers that get in the way of starting therapy in a recent blog and shared how to know when it’s time to start in another one. So now, let’s talk about how to actually get unstuck and choose a therapist—so you can start working through the exact patterns that are showing up in this process (and probably in a lot of other areas of your life, too).
The Perfectionism Trap: Why “Finding the Right Therapist” for Perfectionism in New York Feels So Hard
There are so many therapists out there. So many bios. So many acronyms. And not a lot of clarity around what it’s actually going to feel like to work with them—or whether it’s even going to help.
And if you’re a perfectionist, the default mode tends to be searching for the best one—the “right” fit. Which sounds reasonable, but often isn’t realistic. There’s rarely one perfect person. And chasing that idea can lead to a lot of pressure and stuckness.
You might find yourself:
Needing to read every profile (just in case).
Questioning whether you’re making the “wrong” decision.
Feeling like you’re supposed to just know who’s the perfect fit.
Getting stuck before even reaching out.
And the idea of being vulnerable with someone—and then maybe having to do that again if it doesn’t work out? That’s scary. And totally understandable.
Talking to a stranger about the parts of yourself you usually keep hidden? That takes courage. Even when that stranger is a trained therapist for perfection whose whole job is to support (not judge) you.
Honestly? Once you get there, therapy can be incredibly freeing (if you let it). But it’s okay if the idea of confronting the very struggles that have kept you safe at one point feels like a lot. That’s normal. But you don’t have to wait until you feel totally ready. You just need to take the next small step.
What Actually Matters When Choosing a Therapist
(Hint: It’s Not the Perfect Resume)
Okay, so you’re back to the search process and wondering what to even look for in a therapist for perfectionism in Garden City, NY. It’s easy to assume the goal is finding someone with all the credentials, all the experience, and all the right specialties (classic perfectionist move).
And yes—credentials are important. At a basic level, you want a licensed therapist who’s gone through appropriate training and supervision, keeps up with continuing education, and has a license in good standing.
And you probably want someone who has some experience or training with what you’re looking to work on.
But beyond that? What matters most is how you feel with them. Your connection with your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of successful therapy.
So, after you check the basics—License? ✔️ Cost within your budget (or in-network with your insurance)? ✔️ Location (or virtual)? ✔️ Availability that fits yours? ✔️—the rest is more of a vibe check.
That might start with their website or profile. But the consult call is where you usually get a clearer sense of who they are and how they show up. You can pay attention to things like:
Do they feel warm? Open? Present?
Are they more structured or more open-ended in how they work?
Do they seem to “get” what you’re coming in with?
Does their style fit how your brain works and how you process?
(So… probably a lot of the stuff you naturally pay attention to)
You’re not just picking a provider. You’re starting a relationship. And the way they work—and how that lines up with how you work—is what’ll be most helpful.
A Note If You’re Part of a Marginalized Community
If you're BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, neurodivergent, chronically ill, a woman, or part of any group that's been historically excluded or misunderstood, especially in mental health settings, finding a therapist who gets your lived experience can be an important part of feeling emotionally safe.
This doesn’t always mean finding someone with your same identity or lived experiences (unless that’s what you need!)—but it does mean finding someone who’s thoughtful about culture and identity, understands systemic issues, and won’t put the burden on you to educate them in session.
And yes, it’s okay to want a therapist who shares your values or political views—especially in today’s climate. Your therapy should feel like a safe space, not one where you’re on edge.
Tips for Starting Therapy for Perfectionism (Even If You Don’t Feel 100% Ready)
Okay—so now you’ve got a sense of what matters in a therapist. You’re looking for a good fit, not the perfect resume. And maybe you’re ready to start the search (again).
But what if you find multiple therapists who seem like they could be a good fit? Or what if none of them feel quite right?
That first situation? Honestly, it’s a win-win. I talk more about analysis paralysis in another blog, here, but when multiple therapists seem like good options, try picking one and starting there. If they both seem great, you probably can’t choose wrong. You don’t have to make the perfect choice to get started.
And that second situation? It might be worth asking yourself what’s going on. If you're genuinely not seeing what you need in anyone’s bio (or in consult calls), that’s fair—and you can keep looking. But if you’re seeing good options and still not moving forward, it may be helpful to pause and ask: Is there some avoidance here? Am I afraid of making the wrong choice? Of what it would mean to start and not have it be perfect?
Sometimes, we get stuck because we think we should know it’s the right fit from the start. But choosing an in-person or online therapist for perfectionism is based on limited info at first. We’re making a best guess, not a final decision. This is a great place to practice trusting that you’ll learn more as you go.
Actionable Tips: How to Find and Choose a Therapist (Without Spiraling)
Figuring out how to find a therapist for perfectionism who serves clients throughout New York, including Garden City and Queens, (let alone actually choosing one) can feel like a lot. So, let’s make this process a little more manageable. Here are some low-pressure, practical tips:
1. Identify your non-negotiables
Do you have a strong preference on the therapist’s gender? Need virtual vs. in-person? Want evening availability? Need to use in-network insurance? Prefer someone warm and gentle, direct and no-BS, or a blend of both? Identify what really matters—and let the rest be extra. (By definition, everything else is negotiable 😉)
2. Choose just 1-2 platforms to search (at least to start with)
Pick just a couple of methods—maybe a Google search and one therapist directory. There are so many options out there, so keeping your search a bit more focused keeps you from feeling too overwhelmed
3. Set a deadline and time limit
Pick a deadline (not too far out) and give yourself a limit on how long you’ll search for. For instance: one hour total, or 15 minutes a day for 5 days. A search without limits gives more space for perfectionism and second-guessing, which can slow your momentum
4. Pick 3-5 profiles max. Then pause
Once you’ve got those few, reach out—even if you’re unsure. You can always change your mind later
5. Book a consult call (even if you’re not sure yet)
You don’t need to feel 100% sure before setting it up. In fact, the consultation is a big part of figuring it out
6. If they don’t feel like the right fit, rinse and repeat
It’s discouraging not to find the right fit your first time around. But there are lots of great therapists out there! It’s okay to go through the steps again, and if you need a little break, that’s fine too—just give yourself a deadline to get back to the search. You’ll find the right fit eventually
7. If you had a good consult, trust yourself
This process isn’t about finding that one perfect therapist, but about recognizing that there are several great options out there for you. If someone seems to understand you, fits your style, and meets those non-negotiables, that’s a great start. And it’s okay to trust yourself to pick someone who feels like a good fit
8. Remember that it’s okay to change therapists later on
You’re allowed to change therapists—whether it’s after the consult, the intake session, the fifth session, or five years in. I know this can be a tough one too, so let’s talk about that a bit more!
It’s Okay to Change Therapists (It’s Not a Failure)
Perfectionism can make us believe, “If I didn’t get it right the first time, I messed up.” But therapy relationships—just like any human connection—are nuanced.
Sometimes, it might take a few sessions to realize something’s not clicking, or that you need a different approach altogether. Other times, you’ve found a good fit, but over time, you’ve gotten what you can from the work you’re doing with that therapist.
None of that is failure. It’s actually a sign of self-awareness.
As tough as it can feel, I usually recommend being open with your therapist about any concerns. Sometimes, they can adjust their approach or the flow of sessions to better fit your needs. But in other cases, it just isn’t the right fit either way. A good therapist will support you through switching therapists, without guilt or shame.
You Don’t Need the Perfect Therapist—You Just Need to Start
Choosing a therapist for perfectionism can feel like a big step—but it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be good enough to start.
And it’s a great opportunity to practice trusting yourself—and sitting with some of the discomfort that comes with uncertainty.
Therapy can help you work through the exact same perfectionism patterns that are keeping you stuck here: the fear of getting it wrong, the overthinking, the hesitation to move forward without certainty.
And if you’re ready to start that work, I’d love to help. Reach out to set up a free 15-minute consult—no pressure, no commitment. Just a space to explore what you need.
Ready to Trust Yourself Enough to Choose a Therapist for Perfectionism in New York?
If you’ve been circling the decision to start therapy—researching, pausing, doubting, and overthinking—you’re not alone. So many of my clients have been there too, and I deeply understand how hard it can feel to take that first step. As a therapist for perfectionism in New York, I help clients quiet the noise, stop waiting for “perfect,” and start building trust in their own choices—one small, sustainable step at a time.
Learn more about my approach and who I work with
You don’t have to be 100% ready. You just have to be willing to begin.
Other Therapy Services at Balanced Connection Counseling
If researching therapists feels exhausting and perfectionism isn’t the only thing making it hard to move forward, you’re in good company. Anxiety, burnout, and people-pleasing often come along for the ride—layering on more pressure, more hesitation, and more second-guessing. That’s why I offer therapy not only for perfectionism, but for the patterns that tend to tangle up with it. Whether you’re feeling stuck in over-functioning, unsure how to prioritize yourself, or just tired of holding it all together, you don’t have to keep navigating it alone.
About the Author
Adina Babad, LMHC-D, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor who provides online therapy for anxious perfectionists across New York. She works with women who are thoughtful, high-functioning, and often stuck in their own heads—overanalyzing, over-researching, and quietly wondering why things still feel so hard. With a blend of compassion, clinical skill, and personal insight, Adina helps clients notice the perfectionism patterns that show up everywhere—including in the search for support. In therapy, she offers a space where you don’t have to get it “right” to start growing—you just have to show up.